


If You Know That I'm Lonely

by PrinceSkylar



Series: Taking Care Of Things [7]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Boys Are Dumb, Boys In Love, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Daddy Issues, Drinking, Friendship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Making Out, Romantic Angst, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Tears, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 00:58:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13987038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceSkylar/pseuds/PrinceSkylar
Summary: He was trying to stay in a positive mind set he really was but he couldn't help but feel like all of his stress and all of his worries were finally trying to crush him under their weight and a part of him was ready to let it happen. He kind of wanted to go home. At least at home he'd be away from the stress of being so close and yet so far from his dad, and he wouldn't have to try and choke on his own feelings for the guy that didn't even feel the same for him.But running away didn't solve anything. He was this close and he knew he wouldn't be able to face his mom, or Hana, if he didn't go through with this. It was just so hard to think clearly when he felt like he was being suffocated. Kankuro, at least, was a good distraction so long as Kiba didn't think too hard about him, either.Or; Kiba didn't come to Suna to fall in love. He didn't come to Suna to ruin the good thing they had together, either and yet here he was, doing exactly that.





	If You Know That I'm Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> This one is...a lot longer than the others? Yikes, sorry?  
> So there's some feelings, some heavy emotions. We're diving more into the dad stuff a bit too. Don't worry; Kiba's dad finally makes his appearance in the next part. I promise.

The realization of a crush had never felt so intense before. With Hinata the realization had been easy to accept because, well, it wasn't too out there of an idea. The crush on Naruto had been a surprise, sure, but he accepted it just the same; it was Naruto, after all and crushes on him were never a surprise to anybody. But this...this was different. Kiba could feel it in his bones. For one thing Hinata and Naruto's scents had never made him blush, he knew that much for sure. Being called cute, or anything else by them, never flustered him as much as it did when Kankuro said it, too. But a crush on Kankuro just... _how_? Kiba wasn't as emotionally troubled as to fall for anyone who was nice to him, but Kankuro was...a different kind of nice. There was a sense of comfort Kiba felt with him now that he didn't feel with anyone else...not even Shino or Hinata. A part of him felt guilty for realizing that. Really, the realization that he had a crush on Kankuro had kept him up almost all night, staring at the ceiling in the dark with a sense of dread and horror.

It was morning now, though, and even if he was working on a couple of hours of fitful sleep Kiba didn't want Kankuro thinking anything was up with him. so he forced himself out of bed, much earlier than usual. He found Gaara in the living room, looking like he was getting ready to go. When those green eyes landed on Kiba the Kazekage smiled a bit. "I was about to come up and wake you."

"What for?" Kiba paused mid-step, eyes widening a bit. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is fine. I just wanted you to come to my office with me for a bit." Gaara told him. "You don't have to if you don't want to, but I got mail over night and I believe a reply from your mother was sent."

Right. He mailed a letter to his mom a couple days ago. "No, no, I'll come. Let me just run upstairs and get dressed."

"Alright. I'll wait for you."

Kiba didn't waste any time getting dressed. Kankuro had washed his clothes for him when they got home last night so, with a reluctance that kind of freaked him out, Kiba peeled himself out of the shirt he borrowed from his friend and got his own clothes on instead. Akamaru was sound asleep at the foot of the bed and after assuring him that he'd be back soon, Kiba hurried back down stairs to meet with Gaara once more. They left the house quietly, Gaara leaving a quickly written note letting Kankuro know that Kiba was with him, and then they headed for Gaara's office. There were less people in the Kazekage building this early in the morning and they made it to the office without being interrupted. Gaara sat down at his desk and started to look through the small stack of mail that had been left there while Kiba waited patiently, stifling a yawn.

"Did you not sleep well last night?"

Kiba blinked at the other's question, humming a bit. "Not really."

"I could tell. I heard you going to the bathroom a lot." Gaara murmured. Indeed Kiba had, rushing to the bathroom to splash his face with cool water to try and contain his hectic thoughts.

"Yeah, just...had a lot on my mind last night." Kiba murmured finally.

"I'm sorry to hear about that." Gaara sounded sincere, maybe even a little worried. He pulled an envelope from his stack of mail and held it out to Kiba. "Here you go. You can read it here and if you want to send another one back you can write it here and I'll send it out."

"Thanks." Kiba took it and made his way to the couch across the room, lying down on his back as he started to pry the envelope open. It wasn't a very long letter, but his mom wasn't long winded to begin with anyways so it wasn't like he expected pages and pages from her. With Gaara busy reading through his own mail, Kiba started reading.

_Kiba,_

_I'm glad you got there in one piece and things are going well. Don't stress too hard while you're waiting for him. Find something to do to pass the time or you'll drive yourself crazy. You better be taking care of yourself in that god awful heat, by the way. Drink lot's of water and shower often. Akamaru too! Make sure you're eating right too so you don't go passing out or making yourself sick._

_I got a letter from a guy named Itaru, he lives in Suna and said he met you when you rolled in. He said you told him about Akamaru's pups and he wanted to try and see if he can buy one off us for his daughter. I figured he must be a good guy if you gave him my direct information so I told him I'd have a pup sent to him in Suna free of charge. As long as they're in a good home, money doesn't even matter. I told him it would have to wait until you're back here in Konoha though so Akamaru has a chance to say goodbye. Your sister will make sure the pup is vaccinated and everything too._

_Aside from that there's nothing interesting for me to say aside from the fact that I've been thinking about you nonstop since you left. I know you hate when I worry about you but I can't really help it. I'm your mom and my job is to worry about you even if I know you're alright. I hope you're doing alright, Kiba, and I hope things go okay. Be safe and have fun if you can.-Mom_

He wanted to blame the tears stinging his eyes on his lack of sleep but he knew that wasn't the case. He set the letter down on his stomach and brought his hands up to wipe at his eyes, sniffling a little bit. "Damn it..."

"Is everything alright at home?" Gaara asked, the concern more obvious in his tone this time as he stopped what he was doing to look towards Kiba again.

"Yeah, yeah." Kiba murmured through a shaky breath. He wiped at his eyes one more time and cleared his throat. "My mom just...kind of made me cry a little, I guess. I'm a huge Mama's boy at heart."

"You're homesick." Gaara told him. "With all the added stress of your situation, lacking the familiar presence of your mother and sister is probably quite difficult."

"Yeah...I guess so." Kiba agreed softly. "Do you mind if I hang out here for a little while? This couch is really comfortable and I'm too tired to really move too much right now."

"That's no problem at all." Gaara assured. "You can sleep here too, if you'd like. Kankuro may drop by though if you're gone long. He'll worry."

"Worry about me, huh?" Kiba murmured softly, frowning up at the ceiling. Not that he wasn't flattered because he was, but the knowledge that Kankuro worried about him, that he thought about him, had Kiba feeling a mixture of joy and apprehension. Flattered, really, because being in the mind of the man you had feelings for was a great feeling. Apprehensive because Kankuro  _couldn't possibly feel the same way_  for him and Kiba having feelings for such a good friend was so so  _wrong_.

Kiba could almost picture the look that would be on Kankuro's face if he found out. Those purple lips turned down in a scowl...

Purple lips...

Kiba blinked and sat up quickly, looking over towards Gaara curiously. The Kazekage glanced at him and blinked when he caught his eye, tilting his head. "What is it, Kiba?"

"Can I...say something that might be out of line?" Kiba asked him. "You can say no, of course. It's just...something I've been thinking about for a couple of days and I just remembered it."

Gaara looked intrigued, head tilting to the side a little bit as he gave him a firm nod. "Yes, go ahead."

Kiba nodded and shifted a little bit, bringing his legs up onto the couch. "I...I had this conversation with Kankuro the other morning. He was putting on his face paint and I asked him what made him start wearing it and why he kept it up. I...ah-"

"Kiba," Gaara cut him off gently, holding up a hand slowly. "If you're going to tell me the reason he wears it...I already know. He looks like our father, more so than either Temari or I do. He feels as if he should hide his face to spare me any ill feelings or memories. I know this already;Temari told me."

Kiba blinked in surprise, a small frown on his lips. "Well...does it bother you? How much he looks like your dad?"

"No, it doesn't bother me." Gaara murmured, crossing one leg over the other. "I think it used to, but not anymore."

"Have you...told him that?"

"No."

Kiba hesitated and glanced down at his lap, picking at his pants for a moment or two before he glanced at him again. "You should. I think it's something he deserves to know...He might not mind wearing it in general after so long but you should still...tell him. Let him know the mere sight of his face doesn't make you upset." He hesitated again and cleared his throat. "But, it's not my business. I'm sorry if I'm over stepping a boundary or anything, Gaara."

"You aren't overstepping any boundaries, Kiba; you're looking out for my brother and that's...never unwelcome." Gaara told him seriously. His stare was unnerving a little and if Kiba didn't know him as well as he did, he'd be afraid. "It's nice to know you care about things such as my brother's well being and...emotional care. I haven't spoken to him about it because...it's been years. I feel like if I bring it up now, it might seem like I felt obligated to after so long. Shouldn't I have brought it up sooner?"

"Not...necessarily." Kiba said slowly, thinking his words over carefully. He'd forgotten Gaara was still learning how to maneuver his way through emotional problems. He nodded to himself and then stood up, making his way over to sit in the chair in front of Gaara's desk. The other man was watching him closely, making Kiba just a little anxious. "See...I think it would be a good thing to bring it up now. I know it's been years but...that's years your brother has spent thinking that his face makes you upset. I mean just...can you imagine how hard it would be to constantly think that sort of thing for...your whole life? Kankuro loves you with...all he has, Gaara. He'd do anything to make sure you felt...happy, even hide his own face. Can you...see where that might be a bad thing to let him keep doing?"

Gaara stared back at him blankly for a bit. It made Kiba start to wonder if he shouldn't have said anything at all but it didn't feel like something he should have kept to himself. Kankuro had been...painfully honest when he told Kiba and the fact that he hadn't even mentioned it again afterwards made Kiba feel like it was important.

Gaara shifted in his seat, making Kiba jerk a little in surprise, and then he sighed. "...You're a kind person, Kiba. I suppose I'm just...hesitant to talk to Kankuro about emotional subjects. The last emotional talk we had didn't...go very well."

Curiosity was going to be the death of him, Kiba knew. "What happened?"

Gaara opened his mouth and then hesitated, staring at him for a moment before he sighed again. "Kankuro has romantic feelings for someone and I told him that the best way to sort through them would be to tell this person how he felt. He didn't agree."

Fora split second it felt like as if the floor had given out underneath of his chair. Kankuro was into someone? After telling Kiba he hadn't been interested in anyone in Suna in...ages? Kiba's mouth felt dry and he frowned a little, clearing his throat. "Well...telling people how you feel can be hard."

"I suppose...I'm just honest by nature. I don't like not telling people how I feel about them and I didn't think it would help Kankuro much to stifle his own feelings." Gaara explained. He was staring at Kiba again as if he was trying to figure something out. "He decided that not telling them was the best option...as you know, he'll put himself to the side for other people's feelings."

Kiba leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. "...I still think you should talk to him. About the face paint thing, I mean." He forced himself to stand up and walk back to the couch, collapsing onto it on his stomach. He buried his face in his arms and sighed, biting the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood on his tongue.

Kankuro hadn't said a word about being interested in someone and while Kiba knew he had no right to any personal information, it still kind of hurt. It left a sour taste in his mouth, if he were being honest. If he hadn't been eager to get back to the house before, he was certainly in no rush now after hearing that. What was even up with that? He had a crush, it wasn't like he'd been planning their wedding for god's sake. It was...a crush. He's had crushes before. But for the life of him he couldn't figure out why this time knowing he didn't stand a chance felt so much...worse.

A nap suddenly sounded absolutely irresistible and Kiba fell into a dreamless, uncomfortable sleep.

He was woken up quite suddenly by a weight falling heavily onto his back, shoving the air from his lungs and ripping a gasp from his lips. He struggled, wiggling around as he gasped for air, before he threw a glare over his shoulder at the source of the sudden discomfort. Kankuro grinned right back at him, mighty pleased with himself after all but throwing himself onto Kiba's back. Kiba scowled. "Asshole."

"You're so charming when you first wake up, Kiba." He mused, reaching over to ruffle Kiba's hair. "Gaara said you've been dead to the world for four hours."

Christ, had he really slept  _that_  long? A groan tore itself from his lips as he laid his head back down. "Doesn't feel like I was asleep at all, honestly."

"You feeling sick or something?" Kankuro asked him.

Kiba shrugged as best as he was able. "Nah. Just didn't sleep well last night, that's all. Is Akamaru at the house?"

"Yeah, I tired him out after a nice long race around the village." Kankuro replied. "He was sprawled out on the couch when I left the house. Kind of like you, too. You come up here just to nap?"

"No, my mom sent a letter." Kiba made a vague gestured to where he knew his letter had fluttered to the floor hours earlier. "I came up to read it and then I kind of just passed out after Gaara and I talked for a bit."

"I thought he was dead at one point." Gaara murmured, not looking up from whatever he was hurriedly writing. "But then he moved a bit and I wasn't as worried."

Kiba chuckled quietly and reached back, trying to swat at whatever part of Kankuro he could reach. "Get off of me so I can sit up."

Kankuro, taking pity on him, moved off of him and stood up with an amused smile on his lips. "Come on, let's go back to the house-"

"Kankuro, I wanted to speak to you actually before you go." Gaara cut in, eyes flickering to Kiba before they went back to his brother. "Alone. Just for a while."

Kiba's head perked up a little bit and when Gaara offered him the slightest of smiles, Kiba smiled right back. He had a vague idea of what they were going to talk about so he patted Kankuro's shoulder, smiling a little. "I'll head to the house. Don't take forever, if you can help it."

He didn't wait for any replies. He picked up his letter from his mom, folding it into his pocket as he walked out of Gaara's office and headed down the hall. He offered a couple of waves to the faces he recognized, seeing the same jonin that had greeted him at the Suna gates the day he arrived lingering in the halls and waving back at him. Kiba made his way to the house and let himself in, kicking off his shoes as Akamaru lifted his head on the couch to bark happily at him. "Hey, buddy. Have fun running around with Kankuro today?"

Akamaru barked in reply. Yeah, he had a lot of fun. Kiba was glad, but with Kankuro's presence gone now his smile fell from his lips. He sighed and went over to the couch, sitting down next to Akamaru and reaching over to scratch behind his ears. "I'm glad you had a good time, Akamaru."

Akamaru picked up on his change of attitude instantly, huffing softly as he pushed his nose into Kiba's face, licking at him. Kiba chuckled softly and gently pushed his face away. "I'm fine, Akamaru. Just...dealing with some things."

Akamaru wasn't going to let that slide, nudging Kiba's face again until Kiba let out a resigned sigh. "Okay, okay...I..." He glanced around, despite knowing the only one that could hear him was Akamaru. "I...I have a crush on someone. It's...kind of sudden and out of the blue." That caught the dog's attention, making him huff curiously. He wanted to know who, and Kiba knew he couldn't deny him. "It isn't a big deal Akamaru but it's...it's Kankuro."

The fact that Akamaru wasn't very surprised should have been a little more alarming to him in all honesty. Akamaru not even being remotely surprised meant that somehow, in some way, Kiba had been  _obvious_  about it. He silently prayed Akamaru was the only one that had caught on; he didn't need Gaara, or Kankuro himself, getting suspicious. He sighed and frowned a little. "Okay, so you know. Great...but it isn't a big deal. I'm not going to do anything about it."

The whine Akamaru made was loud and clear.  _Again?_

"I can't, Akamaru."He stressed softly, leaning back into the couch, hand falling away from the dog's head. "Gaara told me Kankuro already has feelings for someone which...kind of stings because he just told me he wasn't interested in anyone. So...I don't know. He obviously didn't want me to know, it's none of my business...and it's definitely not me he has feelings for. So I just have to get over it. It's like with Hinata and Naruto." But it wasn't. He didn't know how or why, but this felt different. He'd never been this disappointed before.

Akamaru huffed and laid his head in Kiba's lap, worry radiating off of him in waves that made Kiba's guilt multiply by two. He hated making Akamaru worry. He heaved a sigh, stroking his hand along Akmaru's fur as he cleared his throat. "Mom sent a letter. She said to drink lots of water...Itaru and his daughter are going to adopt one of your pups."

Akamaru's head shot up, tail wagging wildly as he yipped happily. Kiba grinned softly. "Mom said she'll wait to send the pup out until we're home so you can say bye and all that." He murmured softly, hand moving back up to massage behind the dog's ear. "She said she's been thinking about me a lot, too. I cried in Gaara's office a little bit before I took a nap."

Akamaru understood that pretty well, felt a little homesick himself. He licked across Kiba's cheek a few times before he settled his head back into his lap, closing his eyes. Kiba's smile grew softer as he looked down at the dog and then he yawned a bit. He wasn't really sure when Kankuro was going to come home and unfortunately, he had no other plans for the day. He didn't want to take another nap though; he'd be up all night  _again_  if he did. But Akamaru was comfortable on him and Kiba didn't have the heart to move and disrupt him.

He might have fallen asleep for a couple of minutes, the clock on the wall showing that it had only been about twenty minutes when Kankuro finally came walking in through the front door. Kiba blinked the sleep from his eyes and watched the older man kick off his shoes, noting the expression on Kankuro's face was...different. Content in a way he hadn't seen before. Maybe, just maybe, the talk he had with Gaara had gone well. Kiba certainly hoped so.

Kankuro looked over at him and smiled and for just a split second Kiba wasn't sure if he could remember how to breathe. "Were you sleeping again?"

"I was resting my eyes." Kiba retorted through a huff.

"What are you, seventy?" Kankuro snorted. He pulled his hat off and set it down on the living room table before he plopped down on the couch in the last remaining space on the other side of Akamaru. "Are you sure you aren't sick, Kiba? You look kind of-"

"Like shit?"

"I was going to say  _exhausted_  but yeah, that too."

Kiba chuckled quietly and shrugged. "No, I'm not sick. I just couldn't sleep last night. I'm a little homesick, I think; that's probably why my heads all jumbled and everything."

Kankuro nodded a little, fingers playing with Akamaru's tail. "I'm sorry, man. Do you need anything? I'm totally here for you."

"I'm good. I'm just stressed, I think."

Kankuro looked over at him again. "About your dad? I understand, Kiba. I just wish I could help you be...less stressed. But I think no matter what you do you'd be stressed anyways. It's a big thing and it's hard."

Hard was an understatement. "It's not just dad stuff but...yeah, the dad stuff is definitely a major one." The dad stuff and his soul crushing romantic feelings were his main concerns. He had to act normal, though. Kankuro was worrying enough as it was and Kiba absolutely hated making people worry about him. "It'll pass, probably. Don't worry about me."

"Don't pull that on me." Kankuro muttered.

"Pull what?"

"The whole 'don't worry about me' crap." He told him, leaning over Akamaru to jab Kiba in the side none too gently. "I'm gonna worry about you no matter what and you're just going to have to accept it."

Kiba rolled his eyes a bit as he nodded, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Fine, fine..."

He knew Kankuro was staring at him, could feel those eyes boring into him and he really didn't want to look over. He knew there were things running through Kankuro's mind, things he wanted to say to Kiba about...well, the way Kiba handle his own emotions and Kiba wasn't sure if he could handle hearing that right now. He could only deal with so many emotional blows in one day, thank you very much.

"Tell you what." Kankuro said, a bit loudly. "You and I are gonna make dinner tonight."

"Oh, you're actually gonna let me in the kitchen while you cook?" Kiba mock gasped.

"Only because you'll be cooking too." Kankuro informed him, huffing a little bit. "Fair warning, I won't be as cuddly and nice as I normally am though."

Well, spending time with Kankuro sounded nice even if Kiba's heart sort of ached at the thought. He felt like soaking up every chance he got with him now, though. It was all he was going to have in the end, anyways. But it didn't end up being so bad when they were joking around in the kitchen together, Kankuro practically glued to his hip like he was worried Kiba would crumble if he wasn't. And at dinner that evening when Kankuro had sat down at the table, his face washed clean of his paint, and he and Gaara shared a small smile, Kiba kind of figured that he'd be okay even if Kankuro didn't feel the same way for him. At least he was a friend that could help and that was something he hadn't been for Kankuro in...well, ever.

* * *

Kankuro was in the shower when Kiba woke up the next morning, a change from their usual routine. Kiba had showered after dinner the previous evening though so after he let Akamaru outside, he hesitated in front of the bathroom door listening to the sound of the shower running. He was pretty sure Kankuro wouldn't care much if he just walked in and started getting ready for the day but to have their places switched felt...daunting. It was one thing for Kankuro to see him naked but for Kiba to see Kankuro naked...Kiba's heart was almost hammering through his rib cage just thinking about it. His face was on fire and he groaned, resting his forehead against the door until he regained a bit of his composure and finally pushed the door open. "I'm coming in!"

"Fine with me!" Kankuro assured, hidden by the shower curtain.  _Thank god_.

Kiba made his way to the sink and turned it on, splashing his face with cool water a few times to try and calm down. This was fine. There wasn't a god damn reason for him to start freaking out now of all times. He suppressed a sigh and reached for his tooth brush, getting to work brushing his teeth.

"You sleep any better last night?" Kankuro asked over the sound of the running water.

Kiba grunted in reply, pulling his toothbrush out of his mouth for a second. "Yeah, way better actually."

"Good, I was worried I'd have to knock you out to make you sleep decently." Kankuro chuckled. "I'm glad though, you really had me worried."

Kiba only grunted in reply, toothbrush back scrubbing at his teeth with just a bit more force than was really needed, he knew. He heard the shower shut off after a moment and braced himself, trying to keep his eyes on his own reflection. But it was hard to keep his eyes to himself when he saw Kankuro step out of the shower in the mirror, body dripping wet and hair sticking to his face. Kiba's heart nearly gave out and he found himself staring into the mirror, eyes following a few stray droplets of water as they rolled down Kankuro's hip and thigh...

Kiba ducked his head to rinse his mouth our abruptly.  _Shit shit shit shit!_

"Gaara wanted me to head to the academy today and check in on the teacher I filled in for the day you rolled into town." Kankuro told him and wen Kiba glanced back into the mirror, he saw the older man drying himself off with his towel. Broad shoulders glistening with speckles of water, the curve of his ass so, so visible...

All of a sudden it made sense to him why this crush felt so different. With Hinata and Naruto he hadn't been so...sexually attracted to them as he was mentally and emotionally. With Kankuro his attraction was mental, emotional, sexual and...every thing else. A type of intense attraction he hadn't felt before that made his stomach flutter and his mouth go dry at the thought of it. This was territory Kiba had...never ventured into.

"Wanna go with me?"

Kiba blinked and looked over his shoulder at him, forcing himself to keep his eyes at a decent level. "Yeah, sure. I don't see why not."

"Cool." Kankuro was grinning at him and right now, without the paint and his wet hair plastered to his face, he almost looked like a different person altogether. Except his eyes. Those dark brown eyes that gleamed with what Kiba could only call joy whenever he looked at Kiba.

Kiba could just barely manage a smile. "Yeah, cool..."

When Kankuro had tugged on his underwear and pants he made his way to the sink, nudging Kiba aside with his hip so he could reach for his own toothbrush. Kiba couldn't see any of Kankuro's paint jars on the sink, or anywhere in the bathroom really. He frowned and eyed his friend with a slightly arched eyebrow. "You forget your paint? You usually have it in here when you're getting ready."

Kankuro hummed softly, looking at Kiba with a softer, more affectionate smile. "Not gonna wear it today." He told him, and this time when he bit his lower lip, Kiba didn't have to scold him about getting paint on his teeth. "Thanks, by the way. For whatever you said to Gaara. When he brought the paint up to me I...figured you must have said something. You didn't have to do that but...I appreciate that you did. It means a lot, Kiba."

_It means a lot, Kiba._

Kiba had to tear his eyes away, sticking his hands under the faucet to wet them before he started running his wet fingers through his hair. "Don't mention it. It's like I said before; you deserve the world." Saying that now, with his heart nearly in his throat, Kiba feared he'd cry.

He didn't waste anymore time in the bathroom, partially fearing he'd let something stupid slip past his lips if he had to keep looking at a shirtless Kankuro any longer. He went to his room and got changed, pulling on his fishnet shirt and his pants again as he forced all of his...less than appropriate thoughts aside. He was a grown man and he wasn't a stranger to more...sensual thoughts. But he'd never had them about a  _close friend_  before. He would have felt awful thinking anything dirty about Hinata, and with Naruto he had been more attracted to his personality but now, with Kankuro...Kiba felt like his problems were all piling up just to spite him. Not that he'd be even remotely surprised.

It was a cooler day, a small breeze doing it's best to blow through as they made their way through the village streets. Kankuro had left his hat at home and, instead of wearing his usual long sleeved black shirt, he was in a red tank top instead, his arms on full display to the world. He honestly looked like a different person, no paint, no hat and wearing red...it was honestly blowing Kiba's mind. Had Kankuro's arms always looked that... _good_?

Keeping his eyes ahead was a task Kiba was really trying to commit himself to. "Why are we checking in on this teacher, anyways?"

"She's pregnant." Kankuro told him. "I was filling in for her because she got sick and she's real frail; getting sick for her can cause a lot of complications for her baby and herself. So Gaara wants me to make sure she's okay and isn't straining herself too much. She and her wife are great people; they send Gaara flowers every year on his birthday and everything."

"That's nice." Kiba felt himself smile a little bit. "How far along is she? In her pregnancy, I mean."

"Seven months." Kankuro told him, smiling again. "We had a scare two months ago when she passed out from dehydration but she's been doing alright up until she got sick recently. I'm hoping everything stays fairly okay for her from now until the baby comes."

Kiba's smile softened a little bit as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "That's really great that you're keeping an eye on her and everything, Kankuro. I'm sure it means a lot to her and her wife to have you and Gaara taking care of them."

"They're our people, it's what we do here." Kankuro replied, reaching out to grab Kiba's shirt so he could veer him down the right street. "We look out for each other here before anything else."

"Yeah, I understand." Kiba murmured, glancing down at where Kankuro's hand still curled around the edge of his shirt. A part of him wanted to uncurl Kankuro's hand from his shirt and slip his own hand into it instead, feel the way their fingers slipped together. But he knew better than that. It wouldn't be fair to Kankuro or to whoever it was Kankuro had feelings for.

The Suna academy was a little bigger than Konoha's. Kiba knew it was packed with classrooms for students of all ages. Kankuro led him down the hall where the younger kids, usually around nine or ten, were all located. The stepped into a classroom at the end of the hall and almost instantly they had almost twenty pairs of eyes on them, watching them curiously. Kiba lingered by the door as he watched Kankuro stroll across the class, embracing the older woman that met him half way.

"Oh, Kankuro, I hardly recognized you without the paint!" The woman smiled, one hand patting Kankuro's cheek as her brown eyes seemed to sparkle while looking at him. "What brings you here, huh? You trying to take my job after all?"

"As if. I'm not built for teaching and you know it." He smiled at her. Kiba watched as one of his hands drifted down to rest on the woman's pregnant stomach. "Gaara and I wanted to make sure you were doing alright. No issues or anything since you've been back?" His voice dripped with concern, was a couple octaves lower.

The woman's smile softened as she nodded. "No issues. I'm good for now. Thank you again for filling in the other day, Kankuro. I really needed a day to myself and to see my doctor. I know the Kazekage volunteered you for it but you never argued and you've always been such a great help."

"Hey, it's really no issue." Kankuro assured her, waving towards the class full of students. "Your students were only a slight pain in the neck."

"We were angels!" A boy that sat in the front huffed, freckled cheeks puffed out as he pouted.

The teacher rolled her eyes and smiled, before she peered over Kankuro's shoulder. "Kankuro, who's this handsome young man you brought with you?"

Kiba blinked a little bit and smiled sheepishly, feeling all the attention on him again. Kankuro glanced over at him and grinned, gesturing for Kiba to come over and when he did, Kankuro slung an arm around his shoulders. "This is Kiba, he's visiting for a while."

"Nice to meet you, Miss." Kiba shook the woman's hand. "Don't mind me; I won't be much of a distraction while you and Kankuro talk for a bit-"

"Actually, a distraction is exactly what I need if I want to get more than a few sentences out to Kankuro at all." The woman admitted with a grin. When Kiba cocked his head at her apprehensively, she turned to the class and gestured to him. "Class, Kiba here is from Konoha. I'm sure he wouldn't mind answering any questions you might have while I talk to the Kazekage's brother?"

Kiba had a feeling Gaara wasn't the only one notorious for volunteering people without their consent. But already he had all those eyes on him again and Kiba fought back his groan, watching as Kankuro and the teacher stepped out into the hall, leaving the door open of course. Kiba looked back at the class, at all the curious faces, and he put his hands on his hips. "Alright then, squirts. Ask away and I'll do what I can to sound smart and interesting." He wasn't much of a teacher, after all.

A red haired girl huffed as she waved her hand around a bit. "Aren't you the same guy that has the really big dog that walks around town?"

Kiba blinked in surprise and then flashed the little girl a grin. "Yeah, that's me. The big dog is my buddy Akamaru."

"Where is he?" the girl probed, head cocked to the side.

"He's back at the Kazekage's house." Kiba told her. "He was sleeping pretty good when we left so I let him stay behind this time."

"Was he always that big?" A blonde boy asked from the back of the classroom. "I saw him the other day; he's huge!"

"Nah, he actually started out really tiny." Kiba explained as he leaned back against the teacher's desk. "He used to sit on my head or sleep in the hood of my jacket. He was a tiny little guy. He's huge now, but he still tries to get under my shirt sometimes." Well that earned him a few giggles; this wasn't going too badly at all.

"Are you here on a mission?" The freckled kid from earlier chimed in.

Kiba thought about it for a second, shrugging. "Technically, yeah. I'm gathering information on someone for the Hokage in Konoha."

"Who's the person you're getting information from?" The kid asked again.

Kiba arched an eyebrow. "That's top secret, little dude."

The kid blinked and then nodded a little. "Okay. Then is your dog a ninja too?"

"He is." And that was apparently all it took for the rest of the students to be roped in. Question after question about Akamaru and how Kiba trained him and questions about how long it took to teach a dog jutsu. These answers came easy to Kiba and he found himself getting really into it, like he'd been dying to explain all he's done with Akamaru over the years to whoever would listen. Almost an hour passed, easily, and when Kiba paused for just a moment he caught sight of Kankuro watching him from the door way, a soft a affectionate smile on his lips. Kiba's face went hot and he cleared his throat as the teacher came back, looking at the students. "Anyways...thanks for letting me answer your questions. I'm glad I could enlighten you."

"Thank you for entertaining them." The teacher smiled softly at him. "It was lovely to meet you, Kiba. I hope to see you around again before you leave."

"Yeah, I hope so too." Kiba murmured, nodding a little bit as he made his way back to Kankuro, the puppet master throwing his arm around him almost instantly as they started heading back down the hall again. Kiba leaned into him a little bit. "What were you guys talking about in the hall?"

"Mostly her health and her wife." Kankuro replied. "I wanted to know who her doctor was too so I could tell Gaara; he wants to keep a special eye on her right now since she's nearing the end. I got quite a kick watching you tell those kids about training Akamaru, though. You're a good teacher when it comes to dogs."

"Well, yeah," Kiba shrugged a little bit, chuckling. "I know more about dogs than anything else, so it came really easy. It was kind of fun; I was worried I wouldn't have answers for anything at all. Where are we going now?"

"Well I was going to go see Gaara but you can head to the house when we get there." Kankuro told him. "I won't be there for long, just to tell him what I found out and everything. It'll take half an hour at most."

"Yeah, then I'll just hang out at the house with Akamaru. He's overdue for a bath, now that I think about it." Kiba decided. "His attempt at joining my shower the other morning didn't clean him up very well."

"That was pretty cute though, until you almost slipped and died." Kankuro offered.

They made their way out of the school, Kankuro's arm not moving from around Kiba's shoulders even once. He didn't mind of course. It felt nice. Extremely nice, actually, a fact that made him groan internally. Being an adult sucked when your brain was...less than pure of thought.

He was a little saddened by how relieved he was to part ways from Kankuro, really. But he didn't want to linger too hard on that. He made his way into the house, kicking his shoes off by the door. "Akamaru! Bath time, buddy!"

Bathing Akamaru kept his mind only slightly busy, busy enough that he didn't think too much about Kankuro, at least. However, as he seemed to realize, not thinking about Kankuro meant he was thinking about his dad and in the end that train of though really wasn't any better for him. The heavy realization that any day his dad would be back in Suna left a sour taste in his mouth. He was sure there was a part of him that wanted to say fuck it and give up, go back home and pretend nothing ever happened. He was too far into this now, though, to even try that. His mom and sister were waiting on him, not to mention Shino, Hinata, Sakura, and, well...everyone else at home. And Gaara and Kankuro, at that. Letting that many people down at the same time would probably make him jump off a cliff.

When Kiba emerged from the bathroom Kankuro was just walking into the house, nearly being tackled by Akamaru. Kiba watched, mildly amused by the way Kankuro wrestled with the still wet dog, and then he shook his head a little bit. "You know, sometimes I think he likes you more than he likes me."

"As if." Kankuro snorted, wheezing a bit when a paw landed on his gut harshly. "He loves you." He managed to wheeze out, groaning as he laid there on the floor for a second or two. "But I am his second favorite."

"Naruto's gonna be so mad that you passed him on Akamaru's list." Kiba snickered.

"Ah, Naruto will live." Kankuro shrugged a little bit. Akamaru had laid on him, big head resting on Kankuro's chest while he sniffed lightly at him. Kankuro lifted a hand to scratch behind Akamaru's ears, looking over at Kiba. "Anything you wanna do, Kiba? It's fairly early in the afternoon and everything."

Kiba thought about it, weighing their options. He didn't feel like heading back outside right now, too comfortable in the house and Akamaru freshly bathed. He hummed and then shrugged a little bit at him. "Honestly man, we can do whatever, I guess. As long as we aren't going outside, at least."

"You're  _so_  helpful." Kankuro rolled his eyes at him, thinking to himself. "We can hang out in my room. I've been meaning to do some work on one of my puppets anyways."

Alone in Kankuro's room with him? He really shouldn't. "Yeah, sure sounds good to me."

The climb up stairs felt unusually long, his legs as heavy as steel for some reason he knew he didn't want to think about. Kankuro was talking to him but Kiba wasn't really listening, only listening enough to pick out a few words here and there and nod when it seemed appropriate. He kind of wished Gaara was home already, if only for the sake of giving Kankuro a second ear to talk to.

Kankuro rushed to straighten up his bed as they walked into the bedroom, throwing Kiba a sheepish smile. "My bed is a mess, as I'm sure you've noticed from your own trips in here."

"I was actually wondering if you toss and turn all night or if you just flail around like a crazy octopus." Kiba chuckled as he flopped onto the bed, cutting off Kankuro's attempts at straightening the comforter.

"I'm probably an octopus." Kankuro decided with a nod. He walked across the room to his puppets, sitting down on the floor as he tugged one over closer to him. "A desert octopus. Wouldn't that be cool?"

"That would actually be horrifying, thanks for the mental image." Kiba chuckled, shifting so that his head laid on Kankuro's pillow now. "You'd need water. I don't think you can be a desert octopus. Unless instead of water it breathed in the sand."

Kankuro made a humming noise, reaching for a tool box that sat near the puppets. "That's a bit of scary thought, now that I think on it a little more. If I were an octopus would you take care of me? I'd need a huge tank."

"I've got room for a tank." Kiba offered, frowning up at the ceiling as he tried to think about the lay out of his bedroom back in Konoha. "I could get a huge one and put it along the wall by my closet. You'd need some fancy fish tank stuff...sea weed and all that. Rocks, definitely some rocks."

Kankuro snorted softly. "Yeah, don't give me a boring tank, Kiba. I'd have to eat my own extra legs."

"I think they do that anyways."

"They do?"

"I'm not sure. I know male ones throw their penis at females."

There was a slight pause before Kankuro was laughing loudly, doubled over a little bit where he was sitting. His laughter could be contagious, really. "Now that's fucking wild. Could you imagine just ripping your dick off and throwing it at whoever you thought looked hot?"

"That would be harassment by human standards." Kiba pointed out, finally smiling a little to himself. "I'm sure by a lady octopus' standards it's pretty sexy, though. Maybe it hurts their feelings when they don't get one thrown at them."

"I thought females ate the males." Kankuro eased one of his puppets onto his back, digging around in his tool box with one hand.

"They do, I think." Kiba nodded. "That's probably why they just throw their dicks instead of getting too close."

"That's wild." Kankuro shook his head a little bit, an amused smile still planted on his lips. "I don't want to be an octopus anymore. It sounds awful."

"Weak." Kiba snickered softly, propping himself up on his elbows to watch Kankuro work. His fingers moved the tools and all the parts of the puppets with a sort of care that made it hard to believe he was one of Suna's most feared shinobi. He probably wouldn't ever get entirely used to it, to seeing the softer sides of not just Kankuro, but of all three of them. Temari with her soft spoken voice when her mind was trying to break her down, Gaara's soft smile when he talked about his garden, and Kankuro's gentle fingers and soft, hesitant smile.

It was driving Kiba crazy.

They wasted a couple of hours like that, talking back and forth about anything that popped into their heads. In a small way it was almost like the way they talked before they'd gotten close. Coming up with any and every way to fill the empty spaces with words and noise. Kiba knew it was different, though, because there was a tenderness in both of their voices that wasn't there in the past. When Gaara came home Kiba followed Kankuro back down stairs, hanging out in the living room with Akamaru while Gaara went to shower and Kankuro got to work on dinner.

Kiba wanted to help with dinner, mostly wanting to keep his mind occupied somehow, but he was just a little too comfortable sprawled on the floor with Akamaru. Akamaru kept him occupied enough anyways, rolling around on him and nipping at him until he had Kiba cackling like an idiot in the center of the living room. He said it a lot but having Akamaru around was an actual blessing in his life.

When dinner was finished Gaara was just walking down stairs, fresh from the shower. He looked like he was ready to say something to Kiba but he'd been cut off by Kankuro calling them in, pale lips pressed together in a firm line as he led Kiba to the kitchen. Kankuro was serving them up their plates, handing them to the both of them as they walked past him to get to the table. Kiba sat down at the table and started eating as he listened to the two brothers talk. Gaara had talked to the doctor of the teacher Kankuro had introduced Kiba to that day, had made sure everything was as good as the woman promised. Kankuro was glad, of course, and as they continued talking Kiba focused more on his food. He didn't realize how hungry he was, but now that he thought about it he hadn't actually eaten anything that morning before they left. His stomach had been too tied up in knots after seeing Kankuro getting out of the shower.

"Kiba." Gaara was looking at him suddenly, catching Kiba off guard. When he was sure he had Kiba's attention he cleared his throat before speaking up again. "Your father's team has arrived in Suna. He wasn't with them when they checked in but they confirmed that he was taken home alive and well."

All of a sudden Kiba wasn't very hungry at all now. He hesitated and nodded slowly, looking down at his food as he raced to find something to say. "That's...good."

"Would you like to come to my office with me in the morning?" Gaara asked him, avoiding his gaze now when Kiba looked back up. "I'll give you his location and any other information you should need."

"Yeah, I'll come with you in the morning." Kiba replied, tongue suddenly heavy in his mouth. He glanced down at his food for another moment or two before he sighed heavily and stood up. "I'm sorry, I'm not hungry right now."

"Kiba, I didn't mean-"

"Gaara, you didn't do anything wrong." Kiba cut him off gently, shaking his head. "I just...have a lot going on in my head right now. Thank you for telling me, I'm glad you did." His gaze flickered to Kankuro, who looked ten times more worried than Gaara did. "I'm sorry, I know you spent time making this. You can...give my plate to Akamaru or something. I'm going upstairs."

It was like all at once he didn't have the strength to pretend like his brain wasn't trying to destroy him. His dad was here in Suna. His dad was in the same village as him for the first time in  _years_  and didn't even have a damn clue. The man had no clue Kiba was looking for him or that Kiba was  _so fucking close_  to him. Kiba knew the man probably hadn't ever considered the thought of Kiba, or even Hana or Tsume, showing up in Suna to find him. Why would he, when he went to such lengths to get away from them in the first place?

What was he even going to say when he first showed up? What if his dad's wife answered the door? What if his dad had other kids here in Suna? Kids he stayed with instead of coming to try and be a part of Kiba and Hana's lives...

How the hell was he supposed to keep a level head if that was the case? He'd be furious; he was furious just thinking about it. He opened his bedroom door with a little more force than was necessary, shuffling to his bed and collapsing onto it and pressing his face into his pillow. He felt awful for leaving so suddenly. Gaara must have been feeling guilty as all hell which wasn't Kiba's intention at all, not to mention Kankuro was probably worried as all hell, too.  _Great_.

He wasn't really sure exactly how long he laid there in his room, face buried in his pillow, but he didn't miss the slight creak of the floorboards that signaled someone was coming in. He didn't really have to look up to know it was Kankuro, though. The bed dipped under the other's weight and Kiba stiffened slightly at the feeling of fingers carding through his hair. He didn't speak, voice caught in his throat, and it was a few long and silent moments until Kankuro's voice broke the silence. "You alright, man?"

Kiba thought about it, turning his head so one eye could peek out and look at the other. "Stressed."

"I figured." Kankuro didn't stop stroking Kiba's hair, fingernails massaging his scalp gently. "I've been trying to avoid talking too much about your dad but...you know if you want to talk about it and maybe get some stuff out of your system before you see him, I'm here for you."

Kiba didn't answer right away, slightly lost in the feeling of the other's fingers massaging his scalp. He knew he was right about Kankuro avoiding the subject, not that he was mad or anything though. He really didn't blame him. He actually appreciated it in the long run. "I just didn't expect to feel so many different feelings when Gaara told me he was finally here. You know? I don't even really know what I'm gonna say to him, or how I'm going to react when I see him."

"That's understandable. It's tough stuff. You don't have to go see him right away after you get the information from Gaara, though, you know." Kankuro murmured softly. "Take another day or so to get yourself together and figure out what you want to say. No one's expecting you to go do this right away, Kiba. We all want you to make sure you're alright first. It's going to be hard to pump yourself up, but it'll be harder when you're actually there in front of him. And afterwards, too. Each step is going to be hard for you and you need to just...make sure you're alright. So don't rush into it. Get the information from Gaara, take a breather and then go from there."

Kiba almost wanted to snort. "You never cease to amaze me with your advice, you know."

"I'm an older brother, advice is what I'm supposed to be the best at." Kankuro grinned a little bit at him, before the smile softened a bit. "Do you need anything? Or do you want me to leave?"

"Don't leave." Kiba sat up a little bit, words rushing past his lips quicker than expected. Kankuro looked surprised, eyeing him, and Kiba had to fight down every single alarm going off in his head as he shifted aside a bit and patted the empty space beside him. "Just...lay with me. If you leave I'm just going to think myself into a mess right now."

He half expected Kankuro to get up and leave because, really, how awkward would it have been for him to lay there and practically cuddle Kiba out of his shitty mood? He was pleasantly surprised when Kankuro smiled again and laid down, shuffling around a bit until his legs tangled with Kiba's, an arm lazily draped over Kiba's side. "If you wanted to cuddle all you had to do was say so."

"Shut up." Kiba muttered, closing the space between them so he could press his face into Kankuro's T-shirt. In inhaled deeply, taking in Kankuro's scent; spices and the floral shampoo they both used, a mixture of scents Kiba found himself seeking out almost always lately. He frowned against the other's shirt, voice a bit muffled when he spoke up again. "I know this is weird and I'm the last person you'd want to cuddle with or anything, but thanks. I appreciate it."

"What makes you think you're the last person I'd wanna do this with?" Kankuro murmured, his fingers going back to stroking through Kiba's hair.

Kiba rolled his shoulders a little bit. "Gaara mentioned you liked someone. So I mean this is probably really weird for you, cuddling me of all people. Not to mention spending all this time with me when you could be out with whoever it is you like. I'm god awful company and everything."

Kankuro's fingers paused in his hair for a split second. "Kiba, you're my best friend. You're more important than anyone else. I don't mind spending time with you or doing...anything with you at all. Especially when you need me, at that. Whatever you need from me, I'll do what I can to give it to you. Don't worry about taking up my time or feeling like you're going to overwhelm me or upset me. Whatever you need, I'm here."

It didn't really feel fair to hear that from Kankuro when he didn't stand a chance with him, but Kiba soaked up every single word like an affection starved child. He pressed closer to Kankuro if that was even possible, shaking his head a little bit. "Thanks." He managed to choke out, fighting the tears stinging his eyes with all he had. It really wasn't fair at all to have someone this perfect, this caring and everything, right here beside him and yet still be so out of reach. Whoever Kankuro had those feelings for was lucky and Kiba would probably murder them if they did anything to break Kankuro's heart.

The arm around Kiba's torso tightened, pulling Kiba so close that their bodies were flush together. Kankuro pressed his face into Kiba's hair, an action that made Kiba's heart soar before it came crashing down hard. "Don't thank me, Kiba. I'm here for you, no matter what."

Kiba had to crush those feelings then and there. Cuddling with Kankuro was the last slip up he was going to make. It wasn't fair to either of them.

* * *

Kiba woke up before Gaara, peeling himself out of Kankuro's grasp and silently getting dressed before he headed down stairs with Akamaru. He busied himself with filling Akamaru's bowl with food, watching him for a few minutes before he reached down to pet him. "You stay here while I go with Gaara for a bit, okay? I probably won't be gone that long."

He waited in the living room for about ten minutes until Gaara came downstairs. They shared a small nod, Gaara leading Kiba out the front door quietly and walking at his side. "I'm sorry for spoiling the mood last night."

"No, it's alright." Kiba assured him, hands shoved in his pockets. "I needed to know when he was here, it just caught me by surprise. I'm really glad you told me. I'm just sorry I left so suddenly. I'm alright, I promise. Kankuro calmed me down."

"I was hoping he would." Gaara murmured softly. "He was very worried when you went upstairs. He's been...very worried about you regarding your father. He's afraid for your emotional well being...I am too, if I'm to be honest."

Kiba hesitated. "I am, too." He admitted quietly. "But I came this far and I have to keep going...for my mom and my sister."

Gaara hummed softly, as if he wanted to say something else, but he didn't. They made their way into the Kazekage building, Kiba offering a few familiar faces a wave or two as they did so. When they walked into the office Gaara went over and opened the window, before he sat down at his desk. There was a file sitting on the top of his desk and Kiba eyed it wearily as he sat down too, biting his lip. Gaara glanced at him for a moment, reaching for the file and opening it slowly, looking over it before he looked at Kiba again.

"This file has any and all information on him you'd need." He murmured. "Do you want the whole file or just his location?"

Kiba glanced at the file, eyeing it as if it would jump at him and try to tear into him. "Just his location." Too much extra information would just send his head spinning all over again.

Gaara nodded and pulled a single sheet of paper from the file, holding it out to him. Kiba took it, fingers trembling a little bit, and he looked it over quietly. His father lived in his wife's family home. The house wasn't too far from the academy, if he remembered correctly. He took a deep breath and nodded slowly, looking back up at Gaara. "Can I keep this?"

"Yes, it's a copy." Gaara assured softly, setting the file back down on his desk. "Are you sure that's all the information you want?"

"Yeah...I'm sure." Kiba leaned back in his seat, frowning a little bit as he watched the Kazekage for a moment. "Has Kakashi sent anything to you?"

"A letter asking how you were doing." Gaara told him, gesturing to a scroll in the other corner of the desk. "I haven't replied yet but I'm going to this afternoon. Is it alright if I inform him on your progress?"

"Yeah, that's alright." Kiba nodded, glancing at the paper in his hand again before he stood up. "Thank you for this. For everything, I mean. I'm gonna head back to the house to think about some things."

As much as he wanted to, he didn't stay any longer to hang out or talk to Gaara. He made his way back to the house quickly and when he walked through the front door, kicking his shoes off again, he caught sight of Kankuro making his way down the stairs. Their eyes met and Kiba stiffened just a bit, before Kankuro's eyes lowered to the paper held in Kiba's hand. "You get what you needed from Gaara?"

"Yeah..." Kiba waved the paper around a bit before he folded it up and slipped it into his pocket. "You sleep alright?"

"Yeah, but you're an actual human furnace." Kankuro told him with a chuckle, shrugging. "I was sweating like crazy."

"You made the choice to sleep there." Kiba sneered, a playful smile tugging at his lips. "It's nothing compared to Naruto, though. I shared a sleeping bag with him once and I think I almost boiled to death. I don't know how Sasuke does it every night, honestly."

Kankuro snorted softly and shrugged, eyeing Kiba again for a few seconds. "Do you want to do anything? We can talk about...things, or not. We can distract you, too, if that's what you need."

"Distracting me sounds perfect." Kiba admitted with an exhausted smile. "I don't want to talk about any of this just yet."

"Alright then get your shoes back on." Kankuro ordered, marching to the door where his own shoes were as well. "We're gonna waste the day away harassing people in town. I'll even buy you some sweets; I think you deserve it."

True to his word, Kankuro drug Kiba all around the village. They made a stop at the shelter again, letting Akamaru run around with the bigger dogs while Kiba got some loving time in with the pups. That was probably the best part of the day if you asked Kiba, mostly because puppies were always happy to see him. People weren't like puppies at all, and that made him kind of sad to think about. Dogs really were better than people in nearly every way, weren't they?

He was  _trying_  to stay in a positive mind set he really was but he couldn't help but feel like all of his stress and all of his worries were finally trying to crush him under their weight and a part of him was ready to let it happen. He kind of wanted to go home. At least at home he'd be away from the stress of being so close and yet so far from his dad, and he wouldn't have to try and choke on his own feelings for the guy that didn't even feel the same for him.

But running away didn't solve anything. He was this close and he knew he wouldn't be able to face his mom, or Hana, if he didn't go through with this. It was just so hard to think clearly when he felt like he was being suffocated. Kankuro, at least, was a good distraction so long as Kiba didn't think too hard about him, either. Kankuro stuck close to him the entire day, nearly joined at his hip as they made their way around the village. True to his word, Kankuro bought Kiba a whole bag full of Suna-exclusive spicy candies despite knowing the stomach ache Kiba was bound to get from them. Kiba was a glutton for spicy food-induced punishment, after all.

They made their way back home at the same time as Gaara, meeting the redhead at the door and going inside with him. Kankuro announced that he was going to make dinner and only Akamaru was allowed to venture into the kitchen while he was cooking. Which wasn't very different from most other nights anyways. Kiba plopped onto the couch beside Gaara, holding out his bag of candy to him. "Want some?"

Gaara eyed the candy before he reached into the bag to pull out a few. "I normally don't have much of a sweet tooth, but these don't taste as sugary as most other candies in the village do."

"They're good though, man." Kiba murmured as he grabbed one for himself, unwrapping it. "Temari brought some a few years back. Hinata and I sat and ate a whole bag together."

"Hinata likes spicy things?" Gaara inquired, amused. "I didn't know that."

"Oh man, she loves them." Kiba grinned, popping the candy into his mouth. "She makes this really good spicy pasta stuff that's to die for. She can handle more spice than I can, too. Her taste-buds are fucking intense."

Gaara snorted softly. "I'll have to ask her to make me this pasta sometime then the next time I come to Konoha. Maybe after Naruto's wedding. I'll be staying a while after that anyways."

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind." Kiba murmured thoughtfully. Hinata liked cooking for people, after all, and the more people she was cooking for the better in her eyes.

Gaara made a sound of agreement, leaning back into the couch as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Did you and Kankuro spend all day in the village?"

"Yeah, we were at the shelter for a while." He replied as he leaned over to place his bag of candy on the living room table; no use spoiling his appetite, after all. "That girl that was hitting on Kankuro wasn't there this time."

"I'm sure he was relieved, then."

"He seemed like it."

"Good." Gaara murmured. "She isn't a bad person she's just...persistent. And it doesn't sit well with me how quickly she jumped to my brother after finding out I wasn't available."

"That wouldn't sit well with anyone, I'd imagine." Kiba agreed, crossing his arms over his chest. "People like that aren't very good people anyways, so don't think too hard on it. She's not worth the time of either of you guys in the long run."

"I'm aware." Gaara assured him with a lazy wave of his hand. "It just makes me upset to see people treat my brother like...he's second best. Because he isn't. Kankuro is a wonderful person and people are stupid."

Yeah, Kiba could agree with that sentiment.

When Kankuro called them in for dinner Kiba was damn near delighted to smell an all too familiar smell. "You made hot beef curry?"

"Yep. Just for you, Dog Breath." Kankuro stated proudly, sliding bowls over to the both of them. "I gave Akamaru the left over meat I didn't use so it wouldn't go to waste."

"That's fine with me." Kiba assured him, peering over to see Akamaru excitedly chowing down at his bowl. He snorted and sat back up, pulling his bowl closer to himself. Kankuro and Gaara had fallen into conversation, talking about what sounded like the meeting they had both been in a few days ago. It sounded like they had another meeting coming up soon that Gaara sounded like he was dreading with every fiber of his being. Kankuro really didn't sound that eager either and Kiba couldn't blame them, really. From what they had told him about it before it sounded like the biggest pain in the ass in the world.

Their voices turned into gentle back ground noise as Kiba ate, fighting back the thoughts trying to claw their way back to the front of his mind. He couldn't remember a time in his life when he'd been this freaked out. Even the war didn't have him this frantic and anxious, but he blamed that on the waves and waves of adrenaline that had gotten him through the war in the first place. At least he wasn't fighting for his life now, sure, but he was starting to feel like the crushing anxiety really wasn't any better.

"Dog Breath, you alive?"

Kiba blinked back to reality, meeting Kankuro's amused look from across the table. He managed a small smile and shrugged. "Yeah, I'm alive. I was listening to you guys."

"Oh, so we bored you half to death." Gaara chuckled, shaking his head a little bit. "I'm sorry; we get a littler carried away with political talk at times."

"No, that's fine. I don't mind listening." Kiba assured them through a mouthful of food. "I can follow it pretty well, it just sounds all around kind of awful. Sakura's gonna have her work cut out for her when she becomes Hokage."

"She'll handle it fine, I think." Kankuro reasoned as he picked at his food. "I'm kind of eager to hear about how her first month goes. You'll have to send me a letter and let me know how she likes it."

"The first month is the easiest." Gaara insisted with a small frown. "Considering Sakura's disposition I'm sure she'll do wonderfully."

"Me too." Kiba agreed. "She's pretty excited about it and everything. We're all super happy for her. Ino gets to gush about her all the time and it's great."

"They're adorable together." Kankuro gushed softly. "Good for Sakura, though, honestly. She's worked really hard."

When dinner ended Gaara lingered in the kitchen to help Kankuro with dishes while Kiba stayed seated in his chair. Now let it be known Kiba didn't have awful coping habits. Bad ones, sure, but not awful ones like some people he knew. But he knew when his brain was starting to beat him so when Gaara finally left the kitchen Kiba shot to his feet and poked Kankuro between his shoulder blades. "Hey, can we bust out that sake? To take the edge off my thoughts right now?"

Kankuro looked over his shoulder at him as he shut the sink off, thinking it over for a second or two. "If you're not gonna yell at me and throw a shot glass at me this time, sure."

Kiba winced a bit as he watched Kankuro reach for the shot glasses and the sake. "I won't, I promise."

"I'm just giving you a hard time." Kankuro assured him, motioning for Kiba to follow him as he led him out of the kitchen and to the back door. They made their way to the swing chair and sat down, Kankuro pouring their shots carefully and then handing the shot glass to Kiba. "I was actually wondering when you were going to ask me to bust this crap out again. You've been jittery and spacey all day. I guess I wasn't a good distraction."

Kiba frowned a little bit before he tilted his head back and downed his shot, grimacing a bit as he cleared his throat. "You were for most of the day. My head just hates me."

"That's how it is sometimes." Kankuro murmured, drinking down his shot and then pouring them both another one, sighing a little bit.

Kiba stared down into his shot glass for a minute, sloshing the liquid around in a small circle before he looked up at the sky. The sunlight had disappeared somewhere around an hour ago, the stars shining brightly in the sky above them. The moon was full, too, bathing the sand and stones it touched in it's pale light. As Kiba glanced back at Kankuro he was once again struck by how different he looked without his paint, even now as the moonlight washed over his face. "Tell me about the person you've got the hots for."

Kankuro choked on the shot he was taking, sake spilling past his lips and onto his shirt and chin. Kiba watched him, an eyebrow raised, and when Kankuro stopped coughing he cleared his throat and refilled his shot glass. "Tell you about the person I'm into? Why?"

"Because the other day you said you weren't into anyone." He pointed out and maybe, just maybe, he sounded slightly bitter. "But then Gaara tells me you're into someone and you didn't deny it last night, either. So tell me about this person. Is it the girl at the shelter?"

"Dear god no." Kankuro blanched, shaking his head a little bit. "Definitely not her."

"Well I can't just keep throwing names out; I don't know that many people here." Kiba leaned back and brought his shot glass to his lips, not grimacing as bad this time when he downed the shot. He did cough for just a second, though, and he nudged Kankuro's knee with his own. "So just...tell me about them. You don't even have to tell me who it is."

"They're...interesting." Kankuro told him, passing the bottle to Kiba so he could pour himself his own shot. "They're thoughtful, I guess. Really nice, kind of a dork sometimes too, but it's cute. They've got a big heart but I really don't think they even realize it."

"You know them well then, I take it?" Kiba poured his shot carefully and then handed the bottle back to Kankuro, waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, they're a really good friend." Kankuro murmured. He sucked in a breath before he scoffed a little bit. "It's not a big deal, though. It isn't going to go anywhere; I'm not gonna try to make it go anywhere."

Kiba's head jerked up as he scoffed loudly. "What? That's stupid."

"Says you, who said the exact same thing about  _two_  crushes." Kankuro sneered at him. "I don't think you have much of a say in this."

Kiba huffed, his nose crinkling up as he scowled sourly at him. "That's different."

" _How_?"

"You're lovable, unlike me." Kiba wasn't anywhere near drunk enough to rationalize that slip up. The second he said it he curled in on himself a bit, waiting for the other to say...something. Calling himself unlovable in front of Kankuro probably wasn't the best idea, given Kankuro's insistence on showering Kiba in praise. He took his shot to try and distract himself from the sudden uncomfortable silence. Maybe, just maybe, Kiba should have just gone to bed after dinner.

"Kiba." Kankuro said his name slowly, as if testing the waters of the atmosphere between the both of them. He downed his own shot, too, before he set the sake bottle down on the ground, his hand coming to rest on Kiba's knee. "If I say something to you, I need you to not freak out like last time, alright? It's...gonna seem like I'm psychoanalyzing you again but I'm only doing so because I care about you and you need to hear it."

 _Oh god_. He groaned softly and held up his shot glass. "Pour me another shot and then talk. I'll..try my best not to flip out."

Kankuro watched him for another second or two before he scooped up the sake bottle again, filling Kiba's shot glass. He carefully set the bottle back down on the ground and took a second to think his words through, his one hand still placed on Kiba's knee. "I've been watching you a lot since you snapped at me. I...know this dad stuff is bothering you, which is why you try to rationalize it by insisting this is for your mom and sister's sake, not yours. I get that and I'm not going to drag that out or anything, okay? I just...after you told me about your crush on Hinata and the one on Naruto, how you didn't even try to put yourself out there I...started watching you closer and I think I started to realize something. This...dad stuff. You need to do it. You need to do it because it's more than just stressing you out. It's...it's ruined your self esteem all these years."

"My self esteem?" Kiba echoed with a scoff. "What the hell does my absent father have to do with my self esteem?"

Kankuro hesitated as he bit his lip, looking nervous to say whatever it was he was thinking. Nervous because he didn't want Kiba to flip out on him, Kiba was sure. He felt bad all over again, guilt rolling around in his stomach and not mixing well with the sake at all. Kankuro leaned back and eventually sighed, throwing caution to the wind. "The choices our parents make affect us from the day we're born. Take...Gaara for example." He told him, staring up at the stars. "The way our dad was...the things he told him and made him believe turned Gaara into someone that wasn't so...great, back in the day. You remember how Gaara was. That's...that's all because of the way Dad raised him. Even now, despite how hard Gaara's been working for years to be a good person there's still things that are hard for him. He has trouble expressing himself and believing he has a right to voice what he wants to say to friends because...that shit doesn't just go away because you're an adult, you know? It lingers."

Kiba's frown faltered a little bit and he stared down into his shot glass again, biting his lip. "Okay but...my dad wasn't even around to shape my personality anyways."

"Exactly." Kankuro turned to look at him. "It's not just what they do that affects us it's what they don't do, too. Your dad...not being around, not bothering to even show up just once to show that he cares about you...it's messed with you. You don't think you're worth anyone's time or love because your dad didn't think you were important enough to come back to. That's why you give up on your crushes without even giving yourself a chance. You just...throw the chance away so you don't have to get hurt, so people can't make you feel the way your dad makes you feel."

Kiba was at a loss for words, his voice caught in his throat and his hand, still holding his filled shot glass, shaking slightly. He felt angry but he couldn't tell if he was angry at Kankuro or at himself, or maybe at his dad all over again. He promised not to freak out though. He didn't need to start snapping at Kankuro for being honest with him again. It wasn't like what he said was too out of line. It actually made a lot more fucking sense than anything else he could think of.

Kiba didn't like it at all.

"Are you mad?"

"I'm not mad." Kiba replied slowly, bringing the shot glass up to his lips. The sake seemed to burn twice as bad this time and he groaned softly, setting the glass on the ground. His hands came up to rub at his face as he sighed softly. "I don't think my dad has anything to do with it, but I understand what you're saying. Just...I know I mattered. My mom and my sister made sure I did. My dad not being around just...it's just some crappy thing that happened to me." But he was reminded of his talk with Hana, days before he'd left Konoha. He told her he felt like something was  _wrong_  with him. "...I mean what if my dad never loved my mom? What if he never loved her and he never loved my sister and I, and what if I can't love someone correctly either? That makes more sense to me than him affecting my self esteem."

Kankuro's lip was caught between his teeth again, catching Kiba's eye for a split second. "Bad self esteem can make you feel like you can't love people correctly, Kiba. You can love people correctly; you do it every day. You're just afraid to take the next step and to get intimate with someone because you're afraid they'll decide you aren't worth staying with."

"Well, who the fuck would even want to?" Kiba hissed out, fingers raking through his hair a few times as a frown pulled at his lips. He kind of wanted to hit something or throw his shot glass at a wall but he knew better; nothing good would come from him shattering his shot glass against the side of the house. His emotions felt like they were all struggling to be set loose, though, and he really, really didn't have the strength to hold them back anymore. "Who the hell would take me over everyone else? I'm not Naruto or Sasuke or Neji or Gaara or...or anyone of those awesome, amazing guys! I'm  _me_! I'm just...I've always been me. Who in their right mind would want to love and stay in love with  _me_?"

Kankuro, taken back by Kiba's outburst, stared at him for a second before his surprised expression turned serious. Determined, even, making Kiba look away from him again. His hand, which had stayed on Kiba's knee this whole time, gripped him a little tighter. "I would."

Any sort of response Kiba had planned, whatever self deprecating comment he had ready, died in his throat as his head whipped his head around to gawk at Kankuro, lips parted without any words coming out. His heart had stopped, only to be jolted back to life, beating so quick and fast that he was afraid it would burst through his rib cage. Kankuro stared right back at him, expression not wavering, and Kiba finally managed to choke out a soft, whispered, "What?"

"You're an idiot." Kankuro muttered, and he was moving closer. He was so close their legs were pressed together, his other hand coming up to cup Kiba's cheek. Kiba's heart stuttered again and Kankuro leaned in just close enough for his breath to ghost across Kiba's lips. "It's you. It's always been you, this whole time. I've been throwing you signals since you got here and I didn't know if you were ignoring them or you were just stupid."

"I...I tend to lean more towards stupid." Kiba breathed. He wanted to avert his eyes, look anywhere else, but Kankuro's eyes had him stuck staring into them. Those gorgeous, half lidded brown eyes, and those lips so close to his own...it was too much. "I-I thought you liked someone here in Suna-"

"I  _told_  you I haven't been into anyone in Suna in ages." Kankuro murmured softly, his thumb tracing Kiba's lip slowly. "I saw you, you know. Watching me when I got out of the shower the other morning. You're awful at being sneaky."

If Kiba could get any redder he would probably die. He bit his lip and finally glanced away, clearing his throat. "Shut up." He muttered, shivering when that thumb didn't stop stroking his lip. "You're just fucking with me, right? Trying to...to make me feel better and-"

Kankuro crashed his lips into his before he could finish speaking and Kiba melted almost instantly. His hands flew up to tangle in Kankuro's hair, tugging on it until he was making Kankuro groan against his lips. It was much different from Kiba's fleeting first kiss. This one was all heat, Kankuro's teeth biting at his lips until Kiba finally parted them, Kiba's fingers tugging at the other's hair again and again, dragging more and more grunts and groans from him as if Kankuro were a touched starved man. There was so much heat, Kiba trying to keep up with the movements of Kankuro's tongue and lips, a groan of his own finally slipping past his lips when Kankuro's hand on his knee moved higher up his leg and thigh.

Kiba shifted, trying to move closer, but when the swing chair they were seated on swayed Kiba broke away from the kiss with a startled yelp. He clung to Kankuro, red in the face and panting slightly, and cleared his throat. "We should be careful..."

"We can go inside." Kankuro suggested softly, ducking his head to press his lips to Kiba's throat.

Kiba shivered again and cleared his throat, biting his lip again. "For...for uh-"

"Nothing like that." Kankuro sat up more, looking at him again with a small smile on his lips. "Just to be more comfortable. Nothing is going to happen if you don't want it to happen, Kiba. You have a lot going on and I don't want to overwhelm you..plus, we've been drinking. You might not be drunk but you're certainly not sober."

God, as if Kiba hadn't fallen hard enough for him already. But this was fast...really fast. His mind was still racing from their emotional conversation, his body buzzing with a slight high from the way Kankuro's lips tasted. Everywhere the other man touched him Kiba's skin bloomed with warmth. It was new and strange and he was glad Kankuro had even a little bit more sense than he did because right now all Kiba wanted to do was drown in the warmth of Kankuro's touch.

Kankuro stood up and held his hand out to Kiba. Kiba's face flushed again and he took the offered hand, his stomach twisting when Kankuro shifted their hands so that their fingers laced together the way couples did. Kiba had to fight down the grin that threatened to tug at his lips and failed miserably when Akamaru caught sight of them once they were back inside. Akamaru's tail wagged excitedly as he followed the two upstairs and Kiba knew he'd have to explain it later. For now, though, he simply glanced at Kankuro when the older paused in his steps. "What's wrong?"

"Do you want to sleep in your room?" Kankuro asked him. "I mean not with me, of course. Unless you want me in there. But I was gonna take you to my room, since my bed is bigger and will fit us and Akamaru but I don't want to make any assumptions-"

"Your room is fine." Kiba said quickly, face growing hotter by the second. Kankuro wasn't expecting anything from him. It wasn't like this would be any different from when they shared a bed the previous night, aside from the fact that they made out. And they would probably make out even more. Not that he minded that at all because all Kiba had wanted to do lately was make out with Kankuro. But this was fast, left him feeling dazed.

They had to talk about this tomorrow when both their minds were a little more intact.

Kiba felt overwhelmed by the warmth that washed over his body as Kankuro watched him, feeling both overjoyed and self conscious as he crawled onto the puppet master's bed. Akamaru jumped up onto the foot of the bed and curled up, making Kiba smiled a little bit as he let himself relax. Like the night before the bed dipped under Kankuro's weight as he slid up next to Kiba, watching him. They were both on their sides facing each other, Kiba afraid to do anything to break whatever spell had washed over them. Slowly, almost painfully slow, Kankuro brought a hand up to stroke Kiba's cheek gently.

"I'm not...freaking you out, am I?" He asked softly. "I didn't really give you a chance to shove me away before I kissed you. I don't want you to feel obligated to give me a chance if you're not interested-"

"I am interested." Kiba said quickly, shaking his head a little bit. "I just...this is...fast. I've never done this with anyone. Ever. I...I've spent the last few days telling myself nothing could ever happen with you because you weren't into me and all of a sudden you are and...I'm just kind of swept away." He admitted, lifting one of his own hands to run his fingers through Kankuro's hair. "We...have to talk about this. You know that, right?"

"I know, but talking can wait until morning." Kankuro murmured softly. He leaned in closer to him and slid his hand around the back of Kiba's neck, tugging him into a soft, chaste kiss. "We'll talk about whatever we need to talk about tomorrow. But right now I just...want this. I want you in any way you want to give yourself to me and then tomorrow we'll figure things out."

In actuality there wasn't much to talk about. They had feelings for each other, feelings that had finally broken free and taken what they wanted from each other. Kiba wasn't sure what Kankuro wanted to talk about, sure, but he knew what he himself needed to talk about. The distance. The space that existed between their villages, space that unsettled Kiba down to his very core. He wasn't like Gaara or Lee. He couldn't deal with that kind of distance in his life.

They'd talk about it tomorrow. Right now Kiba felt too comfortable and too safe, pressed so close to Kankuro that they could almost feel each other's racing hearts. Kankuro's arms around him were strong and firm, his lips soft and patient as they guided Kiba through kissing in a way he'd never imagined existed. New. Strange.  _Intoxicating_.

They could wait.

* * *

Morning came a little too soon. Kiba found himself waking up before Kankuro yet again, the events of the previous night rushing back at him without any hesitance. He sucked in a breath and looked over, watching Kankuro's sleeping face for a second as something warm and comfortable settled in his chest. He smiled a little and sat up, running his fingers through his hair. He couldn't stop smiling, remembering the way they stayed up late kissing each other until Kiba's lips were swollen and his face was almost red enough to hide the markings on his cheeks.

It was nice, though. More than nice, even. It made him want to smile like an idiot.

Kiba carefully got out of the bed, Akamaru jumping down to follow him as he made his way downstairs. He filled Akamaru's bowl in the kitchen before he sat down at the table, heaving a heavy yawn. The only sound echoing in the kitchen was Akamaru's loud crunching of his dog food, a noise that could lull Kiba to bed like a baby, really. Everything about this place had become so natural to him, so much so that he knew going back home to Konoha was going to feel like an adjustment. No scorching heat. No sand between his toes in his shoes. No early mornings sightings of Gaara heading out. No long days doing nothing and everything with Kankuro...

 _Shit_. That wasn't a train of thought he wanted to have this soon in the morning. It made his stomach churn a bit and he rubbed his face with one of his hands, trying to force those thoughts away. Now wasn't the time, not when he'd woken up feeling so  _great_ , and he hardly ever woke up feeling great. It was something they were going to have to talk about, of course. He knew that last night and so did Kankuro. But...Kiba was worried about what they would say. Kiba was nothing like Gaara and Lee. In the quiet, empty kitchen he made peace with the fact that he wasn't emotionally secure enough to handle something long distance like Gaara and Lee could. He wasn't that strong of a man. But what if Kankuro  _was_ , what would they even do?

Kankuro must have had a sixth sense or something that told him when Kiba's thoughts were going sour because all at once he was shuffling into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and looking very much like a zombie. He was awake enough to run his fingers through Kiba's hair as he passed him, though, and Kiba felt a wave of warmth wash over him at the gesture. "Sleep alright?"

"I did." Kankuro murmured, opening up a cabinet and reaching for a bowl. "Did you?"

"Better than I have in a while." He admitted softly, watching Kankuro patter around the kitchen to get what he needed for cereal.

Kankuro took his time making the cereal, unaware of Kiba's gaze on him, and when he turned around to go sit down at the table he met Kiba's gaze and paused in surprise. "What? Were you watching me this whole time?"

"I was." Kiba nodded. "Am I not allowed to?"

Kankuro smiled at him, a blush painting itself on his cheeks. "You can watch me as much as you like." He assured. He made his way to the table and Kiba expected him to sit down. What he didn't expect was for him to lean down and capture his lips in a kiss, one that was all tongue and a bit of teeth. Kiba was almost blown away, managing a small groan as his hands captured either side of Kankuro's face to keep him in place. Kankuro only had one free hand, the other holding his bowl, and he used it to grip Kiba's hair in his hand, tugging it just enough to leave Kiba whining into their kiss, before the sound of someone clearing their throat had them both jerking away from each other as if they'd been burned.

From the kitchen doorway Gaara smirked a little at them, arms crossed as he stared them down. It was enough to make Kiba blush hard and Kankuro avert his gaze as he sat down. Gaara sauntered into the kitchen, opening the fridge to retrieve the juice he liked so much. "I see it's a very good morning for the both of you."

"Ass." Kankuro muttered with no real venom to his tone. "I thought you were already gone."

"I don't have to be at the office until this afternoon." Gaara murmured, filling a glass and then sliding the juice back into the fridge. He sat at the table across from them and took a sip of his juice carefully. "Kiba, do you have any plans for the day?"

Kiba shrugged a little bit, resting his chin in his palm. "I think I'm gonna go see him today."

"Can I come with you?" Kankuro asked him through a mouthful of cereal. When Kiba shot him a clearly curious look, he shrugged back at him. "Just...in case, you know? In case you get uncomfortable or he's an ass or just...in case you need someone there for you."

"Oh," There was that warmth again, traveling all the way up to his cheeks and making him blush. "Then yeah, sure."

"I'm so glad you said yes, because I was going to go either way." Kankuro admitted softly. "I'll wait outside or something and you can just call for me if you need me. I just don't like the idea of you going alone considering how emotional it can get."

"My hero." Kiba swooned, shaking his head a little bit as he looked to Gaara once more. "You weren't gonna tell me the person he was into was me? You really just left me hanging?"

"In all defense I felt it was fairly  _obvious_." Gaara retorted, unamused as he shook his head right back. "I figured you'd catch on but apparently I over estimated your ability to read social cues."

"Says  _you_ , the guy who can't read social cues either!" Kiba gasped loudly. "You really are mean. The Kazekage is  _mean_."

Gaara cracked another small smile. "Just a little bit, and only if I like you. So you should really consider yourself lucky, you know."

Kiba scoffed a little bit, leaning back in his chair. "Man, Lee really knows how to pick 'em."

They wasted an hour or so there at the table, Gaara and Kiba playfully bickering back and forth while Kankuro's hand traced idle lines on Kiba's clothed thigh under the table. It was comfortable in a way Kiba hadn't expected it to ever be, especially the bickering with Gaara. He didn't expect to get this close to Gaara like this but he wasn't going to question it. It was nice. It made him feel a little safer here in Suna, too, knowing Gaara had his back if he ever needed it. Not that he ever planned on taking advantage of Gaara's kage status, of course.

When they all finally left the kitchen Kiba went to his room and took his time getting dressed. His limbs felt heavy again as he pulled on a clean shirt, a not so subtle reminder that he had something stressful rushing at him. Something stressful and something that was bound to drag every ounce of emotion he had out of him and leave him drained and exhausted. He didn't have high hopes for this meeting with his dad in all honesty. He wasn't expecting anything at all aside from the small hope that his dad would actually give him answers. He didn't come this far to get nothing in return. If his dad wouldn't even talk to him...well, then he might abuse Gaara's kage status after all without a single ounce of guilt.

Kiba paused in the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. He didn't look anywhere near as tired as he had recently. In fact he looked better than he had in weeks even if he didn't feel like it. That...was probably good. First impressions were everything and the better he looked the better his chances at getting a civil talk would be. He knew his dad would know he was an Inuzuka instantly; his cheek markings weren't something he could just hide, after all. But if he didn't look exhausted or dead on his feet maybe his dad wouldn't try to send him away.

When he finally made his way back downstairs he found Kankuro and Akamaru waiting for him by the door. Gaara was still in the kitchen, if the sound of the sink was anything to go by, and Kiba brought his hands up to rest on his hips as he eyed the two waiting for him. "You guys ready?"

"Are you?" Kankuro asked him, reaching over to pet Akamaru slowly as he stared Kiba down. Trying to see if anything was wrong, no doubt. It was appreciated though, even if Kiba didn't say it out loud.

"Yeah, I am." Kiba decided after a minute, nodding a little bit. His stomach was twisting and turning violently though as if he'd throw up which he...really hoped he wouldn't. Throwing up was gross and throwing up in front of Kankuro was...not sexy. At all.

When they stepped outside Kiba took note of how fucking hot it was. Maybe they were nearing the peak of the summer heat already? His shirt would be sticking to him in minutes and he'd need a shower tonight and in the morning. He'd probably have to bathe Akamaru later too, if only to cool the poor guy off if they were gone too long. Kankuro didn't seem too bothered by the heat, dressed in his usual black outfit but still not wearing any face paint, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He actually looked refreshed and Kiba's small ounce of vanity wanted to believe it was because of him. That was a good thought.

"You know where his place is, yeah?" Kankuro looked over at him. "I didn't see you grab the paper you got from Gaara or anything."

"Yeah, I know where to go." Kiba replied. Hell, he'd stared at the paper long enough for the location to be seared into his brain for the rest of his life, he was sure. "It's his wife's family home, I guess."

"Wife, huh?" Kankuro muttered. Did he sound bitter for Kiba's sake, or was Kiba imagining things? "That'll probably be awkward if she's the one that opens the door, huh?"

"It would be awful." Kiba agreed with a scowl. The thought had crossed his mind over a dozen times now and he really, really hoped it wasn't a situation he'd have to deal with. "It's probably a good thing it's me showing up and not my mom though, all things considered. I don't think my mom would be very nice to his current wife if she were in my place."

"No offense," Kankuro cackled softly. "But knowing your mom, that would be quite a sight to see. Does she know he's married?"

"Nope; I haven't told her. I haven't really told her anything, actually." Kiba shrugged slowly, pressing closer to Kankuro as they started making their way down a busier street. "I figured it was easier to get this done and then tell Mom and Hana whatever they wanna know when I'm back home."

"Yeah, that's probably easier." Kankuro agreed, slipping his arm around Kiba's waist so easily, it was almost like he did it every single day. It still made Kiba blush hard, of course, and he bit his lip in an attempt at keeping his smile from growing any wider. "I'm sure your mom is more worried about you than whatever information you're gonna get from your dad, though. Hana will probably have more questions than her."

"Probably." He agreed, nodding a little bit. A few people shot them curious looks, no doubt curious about the stranger from the Leaf that had caught the Kazekage's brother's interest. Kiba wanted to hide his face in a weak attempt at keeping at least a little modesty, but Kankuro seemed much too proud of the attention. It was like he was showing Kiba off which wasn't something anyone had ever done for him before. If this was how Sasuke felt whenever Naruto showed him off, Kiba could definitely understand why they were so hands-on in public.

Their trip seemed to take forever. Maybe they were both walking slower on purpose, trying to stretch out this momentary calm they had before Kiba's unavoidable emotional shit storm. Walking slow didn't change anything in the long run. They both knew that. It was nice though to dwell in the brief calm, avoiding the metaphorical storm clouds for just a few more minutes.

The closer they got the more Kiba's stomach started twisting though, the more he realized his knees were wobbling as he walked. He was about to meet his dad, a man who's face he couldn't even remember, and he was meeting him with the man he had been making out with just earlier in the kitchen. God, what if his dad was  _homophobic_? None of the people in his life were homophobic. In fact Kiba made it a point to stay away from people like that because he had absolutely no patience or tolerance for ignorance. But if his dad was homophobic? Christ, that was something he hadn't even thought of. He'd have to punch his dad in the face before they even got to what he really wanted to talk about. Although he was jumping to conclusions, he knew. He had to be calm.

If he wasn't homophobic there was an entire mess of other things he could have been. He could see Kiba's markings on his cheeks and slam the door in his face. He could hear Kiba out and then send him away. He could yell or scream; Kiba would yell and scream right back, of course. But still. He didn't want there to be any sort of angry outbursts from the man when it was Kiba himself who was supposed to be angry.

"Shit..." Kiba paused and brought a hand up to rub at his chest, wincing a bit. His chest was tight suddenly and he wanted to turn around and run. Kankuro was watching him, though, eyes flooded with concern, and Kiba steeled his nerves and offered him a small smile. "Sorry, I'm good. It's hot."

He kept his gaze averted the rest of the way, feeling Kankuro's gaze boring into him. He didn't want to tell him what was going through his head; he'd freak out and he didn't want to do that...but he felt like he was going to anyways.

The home his father lived in was two stories tall, but it felt much, much bigger as Kiba gazed up at it. His mouth was much too dry, his head suddenly feeling light and dizzy. His legs felt heavy as steel as he stared at the building, his mind racing to try and come up with idea after idea about what was going on behind those walls. His dad was there, living and breathing as if he hadn't abandoned Kiba and his mother and his sister.

"Not a bad looking place." Kankuro noted, head cocked to the side. "Fancy looking, even. His wife's family must be pretty well off."

Kiba knew Kankuro was talking to him. He could hear him. He couldn't make much sense of what was being said, though. His body was on fire and his head was spinning faster than before, threatening to throw him off balance and send him tumbling into the sand. Kankuro took a step towards the house and paused when Kiba didn't budge, looking at him again. "Kiba? You alright?"

The last ounce of Kiba's restraint crumbled and his knees gave out, his hand clinging tightly to Kankuro's shirt as he tried to keep himself upright. " _Fuck_."

"Kiba!" Kankuro helped him sit down, kneeling in front of him as he struggled to try and figure out what to do. "Kiba-"

"I-I can't do it." Kiba breathed, his breathing turning ragged and quick. The hand that wasn't still gripping Kankuro's shirt was tugging at his own hair and he was hoping the sharp pain it caused would snap him out of it. But it didn't. He couldn't breathe, staring down into the sand with wide eyes, gasping for air in the dry desert heat. Kankuro's voice sounded miles away and Akamaru's barking sounded even further. "I-I can't do it, I can't."

"Kiba-"

"I'm not ready!"

"Kiba-"

"I-I can't-"

" _Kiba_!" Kankuro hissed his name out quickly, both of his hands gripping either side of his face to force Kiba to look at him. His eyes were wide too, worried and confused and a little bit scared as he tried to get Kiba to calm down. He shifted closer, having to duck down a little bit to be at eye level with him. "Kiba, you're alright. Breathe for me before you pass the fuck out."

Right. Breathing was important. Breathing was  _good_. He took a few shuddering breaths and felt hos lungs burn, his body shake and tremble. Kankuro nodded slowly and moved a hand up to stroke Kiba's hair, his voice softer this time when he spoke. "Good...that's good. What do you need, babe? Talk to me, tell me what you need."

Finding words never felt this difficult in is life. He struggled, opening and closing his mouth a couple of times as words raced through his mind. Kankuro was patient, of course, his fingers carding gently through Kiba's hair to try and keep him calm, to help in any way that he could. When Kiba finally found his voice again they felt unnatural coming from his lips. "I-I need another day."

"We can do that." Kankuro murmured softly, his lips gentle when they kissed both of Kiba's cheeks. "As long as you need, Kiba. There's no rush. But you gotta stand up, okay? You're kinda freaking me and Akamaru out. I'll take you back to the house."

His legs felt like jelly when he stood up, leaning heavily into Kankuro so he wouldn't stumble or fall. Akamaru rushed to his other side, wet nose pressing into Kiba's hand to try and comfort his partner as best as he was able to. Kiba wanted to smile at him, to assure him he was okay, but he really couldn't right now. Not yet.

The way back to the house was sort of a blur to him. He wasn't paying much attention, too focused on trying to stay upright again. But soon they were walking through the front door and Kankuro was helping him get his shoes off, his movements all gentleness and care. Then he was leading Kiba to the couch where they sat down, Kankuro gathering him up in his arms and pulling him into his lap. Kiba let his head rest on the other's shoulder, finally finding his breathing calmer, more stable, and his head less fuzzy. In the quiet of the house, with Akamaru lying beside the couch on the floor, Kiba finally felt calmer.

He didn't know how long they sat there in a calm, comfortable silence. Kankuro's arms stayed firm round him, fingers dipped underneath of his shirt so that he could trace idle lines on Kiba's skin in a soft, intimate sort of way that made Kiba's heart ache painfully. They still hadn't talked about last night, cut off when Gaara had walked in on them earlier in the kitchen. It was all Kiba could think about now that he was far enough away from his father's house to avoid another panic attack. How the hell was he even supposed to bring it up?

"Keep frowning like that and you're gonna get wrinkles." Kankuro murmured into his hair.

Kiba blinked and then sighed softly, nodding. "I know."

"What are you thinking about?" Kankuro asked softly, leaning back a little so they could both look at each other.

Kiba hesitated, wishing he could dig a hole into the ground and stay in it forever. "Us."

"Us?"

"Yeah. We never talked about...us."

He felt Kankuro grow still under him and it made him wince. So Kankuro had been worrying about this conversation, too? He wasn't sure if that was a good sign and it made him bite his lip, waiting. It seemed neither of them wanted to be the first one to speak up, to say something that would end up not sitting well with the other. Kankuro shifted slowly, moving Kiba out of his lap so they could look at each other better and Kiba swallowed the lump in his throat at the sight of the other's deep, anxious frown. "There's something you need to say, I can tell; So tell me what it is, Kiba, please. I'm not a mind reader and I hate guessing games."

Kiba started at him for what felt like years, lip caught between his teeth and fists clenched so hard his nails were tearing into the skin of his palms. He had to tear his gaze away finally, staring down at his lap. "I'm...not like Lee or Gaara. I can't...handle this sort of distance there would be between us if we...became something."

He didn't have to look up to know that Kankuro was frowning, but he looked anyways. Kankuro's absolutely stunned expression didn't help at all. The puppet master shook his head slowly, clearing his throat. "You've...never even tried. We can't just-"

"You were right about what you said last night." Kiba cut him off gently, sitting up a little straighter. "When you said I push people away so they don't have the chance to push me away first. I...I know I do that and I hate it but it's because I...I know how I am, Kankuro. I need a constant, someone that's...there all the time. I'm not emotionally secure enough or mature enough to handle being with someone I can barely ever see. That's just not how I am. I...I need someone to  _be_  there and you know what, maybe that's some fucked up issue my dad caused too. I don't even know anymore. I've got so much flying around in my head that it makes me want to throw up and cry and I...I just can't...handle being apart from someone I feel like this about."

He watched Kankuro's express shift from stunned to something close to angry, lips pressed together in a firm line and fists clenched in his lap. Guilt washed over him like a tidal wave, suffocating him and making tears sting his eyes as he waited for Kankuro to fucking  _say something_. To yell at him. To scream. To call him names or something, anything. It was too much, sitting here in silence just inches away from the man who's heart he had probably just shattered.

"I'm in love with you, Kiba." Kankuro murmured softly. "I've been in love with you since I saved you and Akamaru that day you all went after Sasuke. You've been this...this constant thought in my head all these years and now when I'm finally able to have you, you're taking yourself away from me?"

"I-I have to leave at some point!" Kiba insisted. "I can't stay in Suna and play house with you forever! I have my mom and my sister waiting for me back home. It's...It's not like I planned on fucking things up between us, Kankuro."

"Well you did a really good fucking job of doing it anyways!" Kankuro hissed at him. That glare, the narrowed eyes and the curled lips, was an expression Kiba hadn't been on the receiving end of in  _years_.

Kiba grit his teeth and stood up, fists clenched at his sides as he stared down at the puppet master, trying to hold back the tears stinging his eyes and failing miserably.  _Go figure_. "I didn't mean to! I didn't show up here with the plan to fall in love and ruin everything I had going on with you! But I can't fucking do this, Kankuro! I have so much going on! All this dad stuff that makes me want to swan dive off a building, all these feelings about myself and other people dancing around in my head that I can't fucking get rid of! I'm  _sorry_ , okay? I'm sorry!"

"So that's it then?" Kankuro shot to his feet, face inches away from Kiba's as he stared down at him. He looked furious and torn apart, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to punch something or cry. "You make someone care about you and you just walk off? Sounds like you're more like your dad than we both thought."

Kiba flinched away as if he'd been burned, eyes wide and chest aching sharply. Kankuro's eyes widened the moment the words left his lips and he was reaching for Kiba almost instantly. "Kiba, I didn't mean-"

Kiba slapped his hand away, his shoulders shaking hard as his tears finally started to fall for real. He was down right sobbing in the middle of the living room, gritting his teeth so hard his jaw started to ache. He didn't give the other a chance to say anything else. He turned on his heel and all but rushed up the stairs to his room, Akamaru right behind him. He slammed the door shut, needing to make some sort of noise to express his anger, the pain that was racing through his veins, and he crumpled onto the floor with a loud and broken sob.

He hadn't cried like this since he was a child. His mom had been there that time to scoop him into her arms and hold him until he was all better. But his mom wasn't here. He had Akamaru, though. Akamaru curled up around him and licked at his tear stained cheeks, whining quietly in distress. Kiba pressed his face into Akamaru's fur, trying to muffle the noises that were tumbling past his lips.

He should have stayed in Konoha after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry If I ripped your heart out but the story isn't done yet, and Kankuro and Kiba still have some more things to do. So stay tuned. Kudos? comments?  
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://my-tatteredwingsof-freedom.tumblr.com/)


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